So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
Randomize
