I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
He kissed a someone with a penis
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
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