but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
Randomize
