You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
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