tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Randomize
