they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
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