Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
What changed your mind?
Being sober
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
Randomize
