i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
Randomize
