First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
Randomize
