in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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