I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
So my niece decided to play "lets make shapes out of your bruises" with me and told me that one of them looks like a shark bite. Bravo, sir. Bravo.
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
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