Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
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