so that wasnt chicken after all
like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
Randomize
