yo i stole a wine glass from the ritz but i spilled wine on my hundo dolla shirt
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
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