We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
Randomize
