Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
Randomize
