i will never coherently bang her
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
Randomize
