Will you blow on my dice?
when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
Randomize
