Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
At the ER, will you come pick me up... Had an allergic reaction, wanted to see if I could eat a peanut without dying... Do you how bad this is evolutionary, I would have died back in the days of survival of the fitest by now
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
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