She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
Let the clothes fall where they may.
Randomize
