instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
Randomize
