I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
im calling her cock vulture from now on
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
Randomize
