Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
I always "accidentally" drop a condom and make sure she sees it's a magnum. By the time I'm inside her and she realizes how small I am, it's all over in a flash and I'm done. Plus, they never call back so I never have to see the girl ever again. #gratefulforprematuretinypenis
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
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