I just barfed on his mom.
You told him you were too drunk to meet his parents. Totally his fault.
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
Randomize
