ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
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