glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
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