it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
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Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
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The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
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