gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
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