In the future we'll all be gay
That fat broad you banged out last night is still here and I can hear her snoring through the living room wall. I would leave, but I don't want to come home to an empty fridge.
i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
Dear god my vagina.
Randomize
