Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
Pooping to opera.
Randomize
