If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
Your penis caused this!
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