I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
Randomize