my phone needs a breathalizer
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
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