just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
tonight lets celebrate not being married
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
Crop dusting thru forever 21
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