Sry I called you an 8
i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
Randomize
