It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
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