I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
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she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
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I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
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