Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
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