@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
Randomize
