omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
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