I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
Randomize
