My sheets look like a crime scene.
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
Randomize
