I murdered the dance floor call the cops
I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
Its about making memories worth repressing
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
Randomize
