remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
Randomize
