every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
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