I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
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She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
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Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
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