So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
Randomize
