Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
Randomize
