If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
I just remembered that last night when we tried to walk off the spins you said "pretend i'm your pet dinosaur" so i walked you around on an invisible leash while you made t-rex hissing noises.
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
Randomize
