We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize
