theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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