how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
I left my keys in the garlic bread freezer in Publix.
id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
Randomize
