i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
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