He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
I honestly don't understand how your night went from singing a touching rendition of Africa to an angry political rant to low key trying to find a frat boy to bang to doing dishes to yoga
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
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