I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
Randomize
