as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
Randomize
