i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
