Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
i tried to light my apt on fire. reasons why drunks and women should not cook
I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
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