i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
I need you to promise me that the first one to find out our kids smoke weed, takes the weed so we can smoke it ourselves
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
Is Oprah even human
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
Randomize
