She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
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