No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
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