I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
She made me pour olive oil on her.
Randomize
