We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
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So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
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