garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
I'm timing the release of my poops to the sound of the machine gun from the video game he's playing in the living room.
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
Randomize
