were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
Randomize
