I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Randomize
