He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
Randomize
