I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
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