I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
Randomize
