More tranny stories later!
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
well, you know. whores of a feather.
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Randomize
