I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
weddingsv make me drug and hornr
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
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