You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
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