Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
Shitshow foam night was such a success
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
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