using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
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